Who Needs This?

I am starting up my parenting blog again after a long absence. I wasn't sure my experiences would truly be helpful to anyone, but a friend convinced me to start it up again after I helped a friend of hers whose 3 1/2 year old son was just diagnosed with autism.

Here's my Advice for Beginners

#1 Don't Panic. There's lots of help out there for autistics and the resources base will only increase as the diagnostic percentage rises. When I had my son in 1990, autism happened once in 30,000 births and was viewed as the mother fault, something she failed to do during a critical bonding period. Today the occurrence is one in 91 births - far too rapid an increase for a 20 year period. I have my own theories about what's causing it, but it doesn't matter for you today. You have to cope with today, however you can, as best as you can.

#2 No parent does less than their best. You aren't raising this kid in a vacuum. You have a spouse, other kids, a job, a senior to care for, or any myriad of obligations that have to be addressed along with everything the kid needs. No parent does less than their best everyday. Considering all the other things going on in your life, you make the best choice for your child in that moment. If you can't take him to PT because there's no money to put gas in the car today, change the appointment, or call the therapist and tell them the truth and find out what you can do at home for the kid today. Then, do your best to fit in in between loads of laundry and figuring out what's for dinner.

#3 Don't swim upstream, don't fight the current of their rituals. Autistics will not relent unless and until their ritual is completed. Does that mean everything and everyone in the house has to predicate their actions on the needs of the autistic? Yes it does. If you break their rituals, they will break you. Just take a deep breath and let them do whatever they have to do in order for the day to go on.

more later, stay well everyone